Maybe Someday

I guess it was the way he could trap you with his words.  “Come here,” he’d say, holding out a hand, a little mysterious smile curling up his lips.  And why would I choose not to follow?  There was always something in it for me-whether that was good or bad I might never understand.  I will always remember though the soft, secure hold of his hand; the way one look said everything.  He was my escape from the hurtful words, the dark loneliness of my thoughts.  A moment with him was enough to keep meone more hour.  Until one day he wasn’t there anymore.  He just left.  The only thing he left me with was a broken heart and a letter that read:

I have to do this.

Maybe someday

 we’ll be right for each other,

but for now I just have to go.

And that was it.

I remember holding it in my hand, beneath my pillow as my sobbing tears soaked the blankets.  I didn’t know how any of it even happened or what I’d done wrong.  He was just gone.

I didn’t want to wait.  I didn’t want to be that girl; the one that lost herself in love. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t be anyone else.  I didn’t want to let anyone else in for fear you’d come back and see me in someone else’s arms.  And who knows if you ever will-come back that is.  But you said ‘maybe someday’ and that was enough hope for me.

So I’m just here.  Waiting. Hoping.  It must have been the way he could trap me in with his words.  Why would I choose not to follow?