Monday, October 10, 2011

Going Deep Into The Music

It is an absolutely amazing thing how one song, so simple, can bring you back to a place, a person, a year.
I love the fact that a specific song can carry you away for a moment back to that specific memory and it is clear like yesterday.  You can remember the conversation, the clothes you were wearing or smell the air and hear the atmosphere that surrounded the memory.  It doesn't always end up being a good memory, but it was part of your past and we can't deny that there were some beautiful, extraordinary moments.  I am about to do some free lance writing.
Definition:What ever comes to mind...right here, right now...
"Take me back." She whispered, closing her eyes.  The world spun behind her eyelids and yet everything was clearer than it had ever been.  She could picture it now, 17 years old, so young and yet she'd felt so old.  She had thought she knew everything, knew what was right and it was in that mind state that she ignored the best advice she could have been given. 
Her brown hair swished delicately across her back as she turned to face him.  He smiled and took her into his arms, spinning her in circles.  Nothing else mattered, for either one of them.  All that mattered was the smile on his face and the laughter escaping her lips.  The opinions of the world, of their friends, of anyone played no part in their choices.  All they ever talked about was running away together, somewhere far, where nothing could touch them, except each other. 
But she had been so young, so small, so innocent and she had no understanding that what awaited her in the future would require so much more than what she had to give.
They had ended up in an old abandoned barn, a thousand miles from anyone they knew and it seemed so perfect.  They made a nest of blankets amoung the loose straw and shared licorice sticks as they talked about their dreams, His; to open a restaurant.  Hers; to finally be free and traced images along each others arms.
"Talk to me." He would say, wiping tear stains off her cheeks.  And she would tell him everything.  She hated her parents, her life, her friends.  She hated how no one understood her or cared about what she wanted.  She hated that no one would let her be with him.  She hated that she could never be taken seriously and all her feelings held so little influence.
"I hate you!" She pictures herself screaming now.  Her parents stood outside the open bedroom door; the pain in her mothers eyes so evident.  She pushed all she could fit into the ratty duffel bag, the whole 113$ that she'd emptied from her piggy bank.  She'd screamed so loud, through her tears as they stood silent in front of her.  "I hate you!  I hate you!  I hate you!"
And then she'd run as fast as she could, pushing past them, out the front door, down the long windy street until she reached him and all it took was four little words to bring them to where they were now. "Run away with me."
He was streched out beside her on the barn floor, fast asleep under the black sky.  She turned on her side to watch him.  She could remember every moment from when she met him, to how they got here.  Suddenly, she felt very sad and lonely.  She couldn't understand why.  Here she was, lying beside the only man she'd ever loved, the one who understood her.  They were supposed to be hidden from pain, but now she was feeling it even worse than before.  She took one last look at his stomach rise and fall with a breath and then slowly, quietly stood to her feet.  She picked up the duffel bag from beside her and took one step towards the barn door.  She forced herself not to look back and one step at a time she walked away.  Finally, she felt herself breathe and a weight being lifted off her shoulders. 
"Take me back."  She whispered to herself as she walked into the night,s and there she was, 14 years old, tucked in beside her mother.
"Someday, my baby, if you are anything like I was, you will want to run away hoping that it clears away all the hurt and anger and pain.  Promise me, baby, that wherever you go, you will remember that I will always love you and that I will be waiting for you when you return to where you belong.  Promise me."
"I promise, mom"  She'd responded earnestly and now again she whispered to the night air.  She was one step away from where she thought she needed to be, but was also one step closer to where she really belonged.

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