We All Have Our Days

This is a piece of writing that I wrote at like 2 in the morning.  I had just watched a movie where I had laughed, smiled and cried and I was just in this mood that got me thinking about our days and lives and so I opened word and just began typing and this is what came out of it.  Moral of the story:  Sometimes its in the weirdest moods that you do your best writing!!haha:)

Sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night and you feel scared.  Scared that the loneliness your feeling at that moment will never leave you.  Then there are the mornings you wake up, look out your window and feel happy.  For the first time in a long time you feel actually, legitimately content.  It’s the feeling that no one can stop you, because you go out and get what you want.  I dream of the perfect day, the day when I take a walk outside.  The day I meet the person- my soul mate- which I know instinctively I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.  There are experiences in life for every single person that causes them to wonder if there is someone looking for them.  I wondered for fifteen years when and where and who would come into my life, change the way I see things, be the reason I never stop smiling and be the thing that I call Love. 

Everyday there is someone dying, taking their last breath and the way they lived their lives and the way they made decisions determined whether or not they were afraid to pass on or whether the last thought was that they would never replace one second of their life. 

An old man kisses the photograph he holds in his right hand.  He is dreaming of reality, although it has already passed him by. 

A young girl chases a little boy.  They giggle as they roll in the green grass, because at that moment in their little lives everything is just the way it should be.  

There are the days you lay in bed, hugging the quilt tightly to your chest and cry.  Tear drops will not stop flowing from your eyes and you don’t have a reason for any of it.  It is like you’ve bottled inside a lifetime of sadness, regret, forgetfulness and unhappiness and the cork has finally blown off revealing all the past.  And although those moments have been left in the past, there is something about them that you can’t leave behind.  There has been a scar left on a very sacred part of your heart.  You have tried healing with new love, healing with friendship, healing with new memories never realizing that those scars will never go away.  Because they make you who you are today.  They have shaped you in ways that can only be understood by looking back at the end of life. 

I lay here, staring at the ceiling and I wonder if I’ll ever have the courage to get over you.  I failed to tell you how I feel and I know deep down that that was for the better, but still I can’t bring myself to forget your face or the way you turned, looked at me and smiled. 

The stars outside are hidden by the rain clouds so instead I step into the wet atmosphere and close my eyes.  I imagine a world where only I exist and the stars fill the sky.  A world where nothing can touch me.  A kind of reality where the possibility of getting hurt is nonexistent.  At the same time, I’m glad for heart break.  It teaches me to set my sights on a goal that is high, but I can still reach it if I stand on my tip toes. It helps me see things that I need in my life or maybe more the things that I’m better off without. 

Why should anyone settle for less than the perfection they have in mind?  Every singular person will decide their destiny.  Every singular person will create their own personal image of flawless and that for them will come true...eventually.  But to get there, you need to have the bravery to face fears, have a broken heart or maybe many.  You will have to watch out for the people that want to bring you down and realize that your dreams don’t include them so to you they will have no impact on your feelings. 

There are nights when you go to sleep and wonder if you will ever fall asleep, because your mind is running wild with pictures of you and the one person you truly love.  There will be nights when you can’t wait to escape into the dream land where it seems that nothing ever goes wrong and if they do you always wake up before the worst.  There are going to be nights when the stars cannot be seen, where the light seems so far away, while on the other side of the world someone is waking up with a fresh smile on their renewed face and they will put on their favourite outfit, grin at their reflection as they skip out the door. 

We all have our days.  Some better or worse than others, but they all make up a lifetime that we can choose to spend in complete darkness or we can step into the light and see the flowers blooming on the other side. <3